http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4621838/LorriCoburn082912.mp3
Here is a link to a 30 min. audio on forgiveness and archetypal patterns. If you have quested for your soul mate or twin flame all your life, chances are you have the lovers as one of your archetypes. Archetypes are soul level patterns that we play out. Movies express archetypes--romance movies express the lovers, war movies express the warrior, spy movies express the hunter, etc.
A Course in Miracles says this entire world is an illusion. So how do we play out our archetypes when we know they're not real? We have to live them and forgive them at the same time. That way, whether we succeed or fail at our relationships, we are whole. The ego says all is lost if we lose our lover. Not true. All is lost when we forget who we are as the True Self.
Forgiveness is our only function--it's what wakes us up. Only when we awaken from the dream of our lives are we truly free.
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Twin Flames, Soul Mates & Forgiveness
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/poeticenergynetworkstation/2012/04/13/twin-flames--psychotherapist-lorri-coburn-ann-arbor-michgan
Radio interview on twin flames and soul mates. What's the difference? It's a myth that you live happily ever after...unless you forgive. Forgiveness is the magic key.
Love & Betrayal
“You are a slime bag! You’ve sunk as low as you can go! What the hell has happened to you?” I raged inside, fuming over the legal charges my former lover, Kent, had brought against me. I obsessed, “Why? Why? Why? Why couldn’t you just talk to me instead of going to an f-ing court?”
For the next four years I alternated between feeling furious and forgiving Kent. Why did he have to end our relationship with hatred? Who had he become? I swore in anger and wept in grief.
I study A Course in Miracles, (ACIM) whose primary principle is forgiveness. The Course suggests that we turn over our thoughts to the Holy Spirit, which can also be called our inner voice, our Higher Self. Some things we just can’t forgive on our own, and Kent’s betrayal was one of these. The feelings ran too raw and too deep.
I practiced, “Holy Spirit, Help me see this differently. I choose forgiveness. I am not the victim of Kent.” As I held the intention to forgive, the ideas of ACIM began to sink in. A Course in Miracles tells us that our world is a reflection of our thoughts, so Kent’s legal action merely reflected my inner guilt. Indeed, I had felt guilty about my relationship with him for many years. Our relationship began in sordid circumstances, so I felt guilty about that. I felt guilty about still loving him when I was in a good relationship with another man I loved. It began to dawn on me that Kent’s legal charges were not so much about him hating me, as me hating myself.
A Course in Miracles tells us that we don’t realize it, but we are actually making other people act out for us. They merely do what we would have them do. This is a tall order when someone kicks you in the teeth. The Course also reminds us that the guilt we are aware of is only the tip of the iceberg. It took me four years to see it, but as I practiced forgiving Kent, I awakened. The process of looking at my guilt was excruciating. On the courtroom stand I sobbed and sobbed, unable to stop myself. I thought the judge must think I was an unstable idiot, but he gave me a good recommendation.
I would never have seen the depth of this guilt had Kent not brought legal action. I had been involved in a vicious custody battle for my daughter years before, but apparently had not expiated the inner guilt enough. I needed another court battle to see the bottomless hatred of the ego thought system. I actually thought I loved myself. Once I looked at the guilt I could release it, but I couldn’t heal what I didn’t know was there.
Kent was what A Course in Miracles calls my savior. He was my angel in disguise, showing me blocks that needed to be cleared away for me to love myself. Forgiving Kent transferred to forgiving me. The miracle is that I no longer blame Kent for what he did to me, or, as the Course would say, what he didn’t do. I am free. Thank you, Kent.
~I offer spiritual coaching to help you forgive and break free. Contact me at info@lorricoburn.com if you need assistance in moving on.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
The #1 Relationship Mistake Women Make
Women are pretty smart…most of the time. But in this area they’re pretty dumb. In my 25-year psychotherapy practice I found that many women simply do not understand how important it is to take care of their man sexually.
It’s the age-old conflict between men and women. Men don’t get enough sex and women don’t get enough love. Since we’ve become liberated, which has led to exhaustion from the demands of a career on top of running a household, we’ve felt the need to let some priorities go. But sex should never be one of them.
With all due respect to men, they do indeed think with their other head. Especially if that head is hungry. When you’ve gone all day without a meal, are you concerned with the nightly news or with grabbing the fastest thing to make your belly stop growling?
Likewise, men have to have sex. I used to tell my clients that for men, sex is as important as food. Sometimes more important. Think of it this way, Ladies: “The way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, it’s through his penis. Keep your man happy in the bedroom and he’ll worship you forever.” That’s the main piece of sex advice I gave to my daughter, but I wrote it in a letter so she wouldn’t turn all shades of red.
Women often protest about taking care of their man sexually. “He won’t do the things I ask him to do, so why should I do this for him? I don’t have two children—I have three when you count my husband. He’s insensitive to my feelings and won’t talk to me, so I shouldn’t have to take care of his needs. He’s a dog, anyway, and he’ll want sex twice a day.”
This is where we women need to get wise and be the bigger person. When we feel resentful, it’s hard to be tender. But the rewards are worth it. If we compare having sex with our man to a stock market investment, the return on investment is whopping. Men are hard-wired to take care of their women and families. However, if they are angry they’ll go off by themselves. A man needs sex to feel like a man, and when he feels like a man he’s more likely to perform like a man, not just in the bedroom, but all around the house. Most men don’t need sex every day. They seem like they do because they’re always hungry, but when they feel full, they won’t beg for more.
Many men express their warmth best through sex. Women wish men would talk to them like their girlfriends do, but that’s rare and idealistic. Should we judge men for this, or love them anyway? We hurt ourselves when we place demands on others and get mad at them for not meeting our expectations. We think we’re justified when we judge him as a dog who wants too much sex, but we’re offended when he judges us as withholding. We need to forgive our differences and move on. Forgiveness allows us to rise above the battleground. When we stay in a power struggle, each party clawing to be on top, we both lose.
I consider myself a feminist, but I’m also a realist. Tit for tat does not work in relationships. In general, men need more sex than women, in spite of tv shows like "Sex in the City," which suggest otherwise. If we want to save our marriages, the bedroom is the first place to start.
It’s the age-old conflict between men and women. Men don’t get enough sex and women don’t get enough love. Since we’ve become liberated, which has led to exhaustion from the demands of a career on top of running a household, we’ve felt the need to let some priorities go. But sex should never be one of them.
With all due respect to men, they do indeed think with their other head. Especially if that head is hungry. When you’ve gone all day without a meal, are you concerned with the nightly news or with grabbing the fastest thing to make your belly stop growling?
Likewise, men have to have sex. I used to tell my clients that for men, sex is as important as food. Sometimes more important. Think of it this way, Ladies: “The way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, it’s through his penis. Keep your man happy in the bedroom and he’ll worship you forever.” That’s the main piece of sex advice I gave to my daughter, but I wrote it in a letter so she wouldn’t turn all shades of red.
Women often protest about taking care of their man sexually. “He won’t do the things I ask him to do, so why should I do this for him? I don’t have two children—I have three when you count my husband. He’s insensitive to my feelings and won’t talk to me, so I shouldn’t have to take care of his needs. He’s a dog, anyway, and he’ll want sex twice a day.”
This is where we women need to get wise and be the bigger person. When we feel resentful, it’s hard to be tender. But the rewards are worth it. If we compare having sex with our man to a stock market investment, the return on investment is whopping. Men are hard-wired to take care of their women and families. However, if they are angry they’ll go off by themselves. A man needs sex to feel like a man, and when he feels like a man he’s more likely to perform like a man, not just in the bedroom, but all around the house. Most men don’t need sex every day. They seem like they do because they’re always hungry, but when they feel full, they won’t beg for more.
Many men express their warmth best through sex. Women wish men would talk to them like their girlfriends do, but that’s rare and idealistic. Should we judge men for this, or love them anyway? We hurt ourselves when we place demands on others and get mad at them for not meeting our expectations. We think we’re justified when we judge him as a dog who wants too much sex, but we’re offended when he judges us as withholding. We need to forgive our differences and move on. Forgiveness allows us to rise above the battleground. When we stay in a power struggle, each party clawing to be on top, we both lose.
I consider myself a feminist, but I’m also a realist. Tit for tat does not work in relationships. In general, men need more sex than women, in spite of tv shows like "Sex in the City," which suggest otherwise. If we want to save our marriages, the bedroom is the first place to start.
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