Forgiving the Soul Mate Archetype

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4621838/LorriCoburn082912.mp3

Here is a link to a 30 min. audio on forgiveness and archetypal patterns. If you have quested for your soul mate or twin flame all your life, chances are you have the lovers as one of your archetypes. Archetypes are soul level patterns that we play out. Movies express archetypes--romance movies express the lovers, war movies express the warrior, spy movies express the hunter, etc. 

A Course in Miracles says this entire world is an illusion. So how do we play out our archetypes when we know they're not real? We have to live them and forgive them at the same time. That way, whether we succeed or fail at our relationships, we are whole. The ego says all is lost if we lose our lover. Not true. All is lost when we forget who we are as the True Self.

Forgiveness is our only function--it's what wakes us up. Only when we awaken from the dream of our lives are we truly free.

Breaking Free with Psychotherapist Lorri Coburn 05/16 by Poetic Energy Network Station | Blog Talk Radio

Twin Flames, Soul Mates and Enlightenment through A Course in Miracles.  

Breaking Free with Psychotherapist Lorri Coburn 05/16 by Poetic Energy Network Station | Blog Talk Radio

A Course in Miracles defines our soul mate/twin flame relationships as partnerships in which we learn to forgive. Enlightenment occurs through recognizing that we have no separate interests, and forgiving every problem in our relationships.

The Magdalen Manuscript

“I stopped believing. But I never stopped knowing.” So writes Judi Sion, co-author with her partner Tom Kenyon, in The Magdalen Manuscript. Around the age of ten Sion caught a glimpse of her twin flame as her family’s car passed a bus. His face was pressed against the glass and they locked eyes in a holy instant. They did not reunite for forty more years, but throughout that time, Judi states she “knew that the secrets of the universe lay in the physical experiences possible between a man and a woman—when they truly loved each other.” Sion and Kenyon do not use the terms “soul mates” or “twin flames,” rather refer to their union as a “Sacred Relationship.” This is fitting for their comprehensive tome, which is really three treatises in one. When I first saw the subtitle: The Alchemies of Horus and the Sex Magic of Isis, I put off getting the book for six months, assuming it was new age titillation. However, it bears no resemblance to the pseudo tantra genre. It is a deeply profound revelation of the tantric relationship between Yeshua ben Joseph (Jesus) and Mary Magdalen. Tantra is about spiritual transcendence, not to be confused with mind-blowing sex for sex’s sake. The first section of The Magdalen Manuscript is channeled material Sion received from Mary Magdalen, an initiate of Isis. The Bible labeled her a whore to subjugate goddess energy to the patriarchal authority of the church. She and Yeshua ben Joseph (Jesus) mutually assisted each other in ascension. They had a child together and after Yeshua’s crucifixion Mary Magdalen raised her in Europe. Much of Magdalen’s message is instructions on how to strengthen the Ka body, one’s energy body, through the serpent power of sexual energy, often called kundalini. It is the Ka body that is one’s Spiritual Twin and Yeshua’s ability to appear after physical death was due to mastery of the Ka body. Magdalen stresses the importance of unconditional love as the foundation for alchemical sexual interaction. Kenyon expresses his mistrust of channeled material in the introduction, as he considers himself a scientist. However, he states regardless whether Magdalen’s story is true, the exercises to raise one’s consciousness are powerful. The second section of The Magdalen Manuscript, written by Kenyon, is a scholarly comparison of the four major alchemical systems: Egyptian practices described by Magdalen; Tibetan Buddhist Tantra; Taoism; and Tantric Yoga. Kenyon does an excellent job explaining the differences between the path of sacred relationship, in which partners engage in sexual alchemy (Sex Magic of Isis), and the solitary path of self-generated ecstasy (Alchemies of Horus). The last section of The Magdalen Manuscript, like the two previous sections, could stand alone as a significant work. It is titled “One Woman’s Story” and is the personal tale of Sion’s relationship journey, through severe abuse and neglect, culminating in her reunion with the soul she glimpsed on the bus forty years earlier. Part of Sion’s spiritual quest led her to follow Magdalen’s footsteps through Europe. She traveled to France and Rennes-le-Chateau, where legend has it the Priory of Sion (Judi’s name), a secret society, held information the church wanted suppressed. Sion was reluctant to share her story, knowing she’d be ridiculed. However, Magdalen told her it was an integral part of the book. It adds an element of credibility for mystical spiritual seekers, but is likely to be dismissed by rationalists. If you are skeptical about mystical revelations, you are not likely to pick up The Magdalen Manuscript. But if the mysteries of the divine feminine and sacred relationship path intrigue you, it’s a book not to be missed. Myths and legends speak to our divine nature, regardless of factual historical events. Just as Sion said she always knew the truth in her heart, in spite of outward appearances, you will know if this book speaks to your soul. I give it five stars and highly recommend it to anyone who has met their twin flame/soul mate, or senses that sacred relationship is their personal path to God. Lorri Coburn, MSW, is the author of Breaking Free: How Forgiveness and A Course in Miracles Can Set You Free. She is working on her book Even Soul Mates Get the Blues, which is about the soul mate path to God. www.lorricoburn.com

Twin Flames, Soul Mates & Forgiveness

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/poeticenergynetworkstation/2012/04/13/twin-flames--psychotherapist-lorri-coburn-ann-arbor-michgan Radio interview on twin flames and soul mates. What's the difference? It's a myth that you live happily ever after...unless you forgive. Forgiveness is the magic key.

Love & Betrayal

“You are a slime bag! You’ve sunk as low as you can go! What the hell has happened to you?” I raged inside, fuming over the legal charges my former lover, Kent, had brought against me. I obsessed, “Why? Why? Why? Why couldn’t you just talk to me instead of going to an f-ing court?” For the next four years I alternated between feeling furious and forgiving Kent. Why did he have to end our relationship with hatred? Who had he become? I swore in anger and wept in grief. I study A Course in Miracles, (ACIM) whose primary principle is forgiveness. The Course suggests that we turn over our thoughts to the Holy Spirit, which can also be called our inner voice, our Higher Self. Some things we just can’t forgive on our own, and Kent’s betrayal was one of these. The feelings ran too raw and too deep. I practiced, “Holy Spirit, Help me see this differently. I choose forgiveness. I am not the victim of Kent.” As I held the intention to forgive, the ideas of ACIM began to sink in. A Course in Miracles tells us that our world is a reflection of our thoughts, so Kent’s legal action merely reflected my inner guilt. Indeed, I had felt guilty about my relationship with him for many years. Our relationship began in sordid circumstances, so I felt guilty about that. I felt guilty about still loving him when I was in a good relationship with another man I loved. It began to dawn on me that Kent’s legal charges were not so much about him hating me, as me hating myself. A Course in Miracles tells us that we don’t realize it, but we are actually making other people act out for us. They merely do what we would have them do. This is a tall order when someone kicks you in the teeth. The Course also reminds us that the guilt we are aware of is only the tip of the iceberg. It took me four years to see it, but as I practiced forgiving Kent, I awakened. The process of looking at my guilt was excruciating. On the courtroom stand I sobbed and sobbed, unable to stop myself. I thought the judge must think I was an unstable idiot, but he gave me a good recommendation. I would never have seen the depth of this guilt had Kent not brought legal action. I had been involved in a vicious custody battle for my daughter years before, but apparently had not expiated the inner guilt enough. I needed another court battle to see the bottomless hatred of the ego thought system. I actually thought I loved myself. Once I looked at the guilt I could release it, but I couldn’t heal what I didn’t know was there. Kent was what A Course in Miracles calls my savior. He was my angel in disguise, showing me blocks that needed to be cleared away for me to love myself. Forgiving Kent transferred to forgiving me. The miracle is that I no longer blame Kent for what he did to me, or, as the Course would say, what he didn’t do. I am free. Thank you, Kent. ~I offer spiritual coaching to help you forgive and break free. Contact me at info@lorricoburn.com if you need assistance in moving on.

The #1 Relationship Mistake Women Make

Women are pretty smart…most of the time. But in this area they’re pretty dumb. In my 25-year psychotherapy practice I found that many women simply do not understand how important it is to take care of their man sexually.

It’s the age-old conflict between men and women. Men don’t get enough sex and women don’t get enough love. Since we’ve become liberated, which has led to exhaustion from the demands of a career on top of running a household, we’ve felt the need to let some priorities go. But sex should never be one of them.

With all due respect to men, they do indeed think with their other head. Especially if that head is hungry. When you’ve gone all day without a meal, are you concerned with the nightly news or with grabbing the fastest thing to make your belly stop growling?

Likewise, men have to have sex. I used to tell my clients that for men, sex is as important as food. Sometimes more important. Think of it this way, Ladies: “The way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, it’s through his penis. Keep your man happy in the bedroom and he’ll worship you forever.” That’s the main piece of sex advice I gave to my daughter, but I wrote it in a letter so she wouldn’t turn all shades of red.

Women often protest about taking care of their man sexually. “He won’t do the things I ask him to do, so why should I do this for him? I don’t have two children—I have three when you count my husband. He’s insensitive to my feelings and won’t talk to me, so I shouldn’t have to take care of his needs. He’s a dog, anyway, and he’ll want sex twice a day.”

This is where we women need to get wise and be the bigger person. When we feel resentful, it’s hard to be tender. But the rewards are worth it. If we compare having sex with our man to a stock market investment, the return on investment is whopping. Men are hard-wired to take care of their women and families. However, if they are angry they’ll go off by themselves. A man needs sex to feel like a man, and when he feels like a man he’s more likely to perform like a man, not just in the bedroom, but all around the house. Most men don’t need sex every day. They seem like they do because they’re always hungry, but when they feel full, they won’t beg for more.

Many men express their warmth best through sex. Women wish men would talk to them like their girlfriends do, but that’s rare and idealistic. Should we judge men for this, or love them anyway? We hurt ourselves when we place demands on others and get mad at them for not meeting our expectations. We think we’re justified when we judge him as a dog who wants too much sex, but we’re offended when he judges us as withholding. We need to forgive our differences and move on. Forgiveness allows us to rise above the battleground. When we stay in a power struggle, each party clawing to be on top, we both lose.

I consider myself a feminist, but I’m also a realist. Tit for tat does not work in relationships. In general, men need more sex than women, in spite of tv shows like "Sex in the City," which suggest otherwise. If we want to save our marriages, the bedroom is the first place to start.

Dreaming of the Perfect Relationship

Oh, my gosh! I just fell into the trap I grouse about all the time! I just tried to fit the image of perfection again! What a crock!

I had told myself, “I have the relationship every woman dreams of.” I was so proud of my accomplishment. The next morning as Rod and I did our daily Course in Miracles lessons over coffee, I asked him how he felt about something. He refused to go there. It hit me. I don’t have the relationship every woman dreams of! Here’s my man, once again, absolutely unwilling to express his feelings no matter how many subtle, or not so subtle, angles I try.

Shame jumped in. “You are such an idiot! You think you’ve got it made but you’re lying to yourself again. This relationship lacks a crucial element but you have to keep convincing yourself it’s perfect.”

Then I noticed the familiar pattern. I began to dream of being with my true soul mate, the one who will not only express his feelings to me but be perfectly supportive and loving all the time. Someday this relationship with Rod will have run its course and I will move on to an even better relationship.

These are the old hooks I’ve always cast to manage my disappointment with Rod. But this time I didn’t bite. I caught myself falling into the trap, the one that tells me that someday I’ll be perfect. Someday I’ll have the perfect relationship. Someday I’ll be a role model to women of what you can attain if you only work hard enough.

That’s the crock. There is no someday. I picked up my coffee cup and left the room. Roiling emotions stirred my heart and gut. I breathed, and checked in with my inner voice. “Forgive.”

“Ok. I forgive Rod for not wanting to be vulnerable and express his feelings. I forgive myself for wanting that from him and for wanting the perfect relationship. I forgive myself for dreaming that some day I can get what I really want.”

And the miracle happened. My heart opened. I saw the sweetness of Rod and how his style of expression has truly been perfect for me, even though it has not fit my image of perfection. I have put Rod through a lot, which is a story for another time. I don’t guess one man in ten million could have tolerated what I’ve dished out . It’s been his very nature of controlling his emotions, his desire to let me be me no matter how he feels about it, that’s allowed me to grow monumentally through this relationship. And he’s grown in turn, for his goal has not been the perfect relationship, but spiritual growth.

I do have the perfect relationship. And it doesn’t have to look a certain way. Perfection is in acceptance of this moment, as we connect to our inner Spirit and follow Its guidance. Perfection will never come someday.